Peace be with you

A reading from the holy Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ according to St. John:

On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being shut where the disciples were for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. The disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven. If you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

Try this experiment: turn everything off and go by yourself into a quiet room. Don’t open any books. Don’t even have a conversation with yourself. Just sit quietly. Don’t look at anything. Don’t read anything. See how long you last. That will give you a gauge of how much peace your soul actually has.

If you last 15 seconds, that is probably above average for most people. If you last a minute, you are doing pretty well.

We are not peaceful in our hearts. This is not a time that encourages people to be settled inside themselves. The result of that, and in some ways the cause of that, is because we are always busy. We are always looking at something, listening to something, watching something, reading something, talking, or engaging in something.

That constant distraction is both an expression of our lack of peace and a cause of it. Like any habit, we add to it over time.

Why is it so hard to just exist with myself? Why am I not settled? Why am I not at peace in my heart?

There can be many reasons.

Maybe, on some level, I am lying to myself. Maybe there is something in my life that I am deceiving myself about, or some weakness I do not want to admit. And so I never want to pay attention to myself. I need to think about something else.

Maybe there is some pain I am avoiding, some internal darkness I do not want to face. It could even be something as simple as not wanting to face mortality — not wanting to admit that everything around me will someday pass away, including myself.

Or maybe I am simply bored with life. When the distractions disappear, I am left facing the feeling that everything is meaningless.

It could also be some deep wound, whether ancient or recent, that I do not want to come to terms with.

Whatever the reason may be, Jesus appears to the disciples after the Resurrection and the very first thing He says to them is: “Peace be with you.”

Whatever is causing our lack of peace, Jesus is the solution.

The disciples were hiding. Their doors were shut. They were in a secure place because they were afraid. St. John openly admits this: they were behind closed doors “for fear of the Jews.”

That is an important place to begin. John, who was there, admits that he was afraid.

Lack of peace often comes from fear. Deep down, I distract myself because I am afraid. And admitting that is humiliating. It feels shameful to say, “I am afraid.”

But if I want peace, I have to begin by being honest with myself. I have to admit what I am feeling and why I am feeling it.

The disciples were afraid, and Jesus came to them in that fear. Even in the scariest moments, Jesus is there with us. He comes and sits with us in fear, and He says, “Peace be with you.”

The disciples feared for their lives. Their teacher and master had just been crucified. Yet Christ still came to them.

And if pain is the thing we are trying to avoid, look at what Jesus does next: He shows them His hands and His side.

Christ teaches us that pain is not meaningless. Through His wounds, the whole human race was saved. Salvation came through suffering.

Pain is not something to run from or distract ourselves from.

There is also something striking about the order in which St. John describes the scene. Jesus says, “Peace be with you,” then He shows them His hands and side, and only after that does John say that the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.

There is joy even in suffering, because through suffering God can bring salvation.

When we understand that God can use even our pain for our healing, then suffering itself becomes something transformed by grace.

Jesus then says again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.”

If our lack of peace comes from feeling purposeless, Christ answers that too.

God created each of us with a purpose. And when we forget that, agitation enters our hearts.

Even if we do not fully understand our vocation or our future, our purpose right now is clear: to love God and love our neighbor. Our purpose is to spread the Gospel through holiness, through the grace God is working within us.

We are here for a reason.

When we forget that mission, we try to fill the emptiness with distractions and pleasures, but those things only leave us emptier. Then we seek more distractions, and the cycle continues.

If you are feeling unsettled, go do some act of mercy. Love somebody outside yourself. You will be surprised how much peace that brings, because that is the life Christ commanded us to live.

And when we are wounded, the temptation is to think peace will come through revenge, through an apology, or through finally getting what we want.

But Jesus says, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven.”

Peace comes through repentance, confession, and forgiveness.

We will not find peace by getting revenge or by obtaining everything we desire. We find peace by repenting of our own sins and forgiving those who have hurt us.

We do not forgive because others deserve it. We forgive because forgiveness heals us. Christ heals us through our forgiveness of others, and He heals us when we repent and ask for His mercy.

In the end, our peace comes from the Holy Spirit whom Christ gave to the disciples.

And ultimately, this points us toward the sacraments — especially confession. The sacraments are where we receive the grace to do what Christ asks of us. They are where we find healing, strength, and the peace that Christ offers the world.